Let’s Get One Thing Clear
Queer people want to feel safe, respected, and have their rights; they don't need tolerance.
Lacking a better word, tolerance is living in peace until someone decides otherwise.
People say, "We don't mind as long as you don't show it." This means, "We'll let you exist, but only if you erase yourself." This is not acceptance; it is oppression dressed up as kindness.
“It bothers me when people treat me like my existence is up for debate. I need respect that doesn't change when I show up as myself.” Charles Okeke
What “Tolerance” Really Means
“We love you, just don’t tell anyone,” is what families say. "We can't support gay people, but we don't hate them," politicians claim. "We welcome you, but don't act gay," churches say.
"Hide who you are so we can continue pretending we're good people" is the meaning behind each of those statements. They cover their faces with tolerance while they hold the knife.
Tolerance Is Not Respect
There is tolerance, which means, "I'll let you live."
Respect means, "You should be able to live life like straight people.” Tolerance is the same as charity. Respect is what justice is all about. "We tolerate you" actually means "We still think you're beneath us, we're just polite about it."
Performative Allyship
People who love our fashion, slang, and creativity but can't stand queer people are not allies; they are thieves. You're not an ally if you take advantage of queer art but don't speak out when queer lives are in danger.
Reclaiming Pride
Permission is not needed for us to exist. Our queer ancestors didn't ask for it, and we won't either.
Being African and Nigerian and queer is not a scandal; rather, it is a fact of who we are and is ingrained in our culture, our survival, and our art.
The Energy Moving Forward
We are not here to be tolerated. We are here to be respected. Not only that, but we are here to live loudly. To take up space. To breathe freely without saying sorry. That's the norm now, nothing less.
Reflection & Challenge
Question: In what parts of your life do you accept tolerance instead of demanding respect?
Challenge: Correct people who call you “brave” for being who you are this week.
Say that you're not brave; you're just done shrinking.
Stay Connected
Website – Myownkindofrunway.com
Where all of my writing, projects, and honest thoughts on queer life, style, and freedom come together.
Podcast – Igbo Queer & Unfiltered
Real stories and honest talks about being queer, culture, and healing.
YouTube – Watch My Channel
Visual storytelling through fashion, travel, and honest, queer thoughts.
Fashion – See My Looks
Style that speaks louder than words, carefully chosen outfits, and bold moments.
Wardrobe – Shop My Closet
I've loved and styled these pieces.
Storefront – My Curated Picks
This is my personal pick of brands and necessities.
Stay connected. Stay unfiltered.
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